Love Me Again

If you have recently broken up and needing advice,there is one very important and crucial rule you need to be applying from the start.
Here's what you need to be doing right off the bat:
Decide whether the relationship is truly over. Until you are able to say that he/she is part of your past and not your present and future, you will not be able to move on.
If you decide your ex is a chapter in your past then you're ready for closure. Only close this chapter until you are convinced that's what you want. Too many people say they want closure but still do silly things such as call them regularly, send them text messages or bombard them with emails.
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Here are three important steps to reaching closure:
#1. Express your felling of hurt. This can be done by:
- Talk to friends and family. Many of your so called friends won't be up to the challenge but find friends who are truly empathetic and can help you work through your feelings.
- Find a good therapist to work through your feelings with a dispassionate third party
- This is an inexpensive way to express yourself. Write down your feelings in a journal, in poetry, or in music.
#2. Get rid of anything you have of your ex's. These things will only remind you of him and the break up. If you have things that you want to get back, things that have value, do it tactfully. Other things you can just toss. And, if there's gifts that you want to keep, box them up and store them for the time being.
#3. Get involved in things that make you happy. Go to the gym so that you look and feel good. Spend some time getting pampered at the spa. Take a Martial Arts class at the community center. Or, start to volunteer with a charity of your choice.
Hope this helps your relationships back on track or simply made the transition to moving on so much easier.
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Getting back together after a break up, is definitely not a one way street. If just one person is trying to save the relationship, then their efforts are more likely to fail.
You see, when one person is making all the effort it looks sad and desperate. Getting a commitment from the both of you, is crucial for having a chances of it becoming a reality. And it has to be a total commitment.
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The last thing you want to do to make getting back after a break up work, is to lay blame at the other person for all that is wrong with the realtionship. There has to be the spirit of give and take.
#1. Both of you have to admit the wrong that has happened.
#2. No justification allowed. It will only make it seem, that your arte making excuses.
#3. Accept the past mistakes and move on.
#4. It take two to tango! If only one is making the effort to reconcile, then, it is likely to fail. It a two person sport, so work as a team.
#5. If only one of you thinks that getting back together after a break up is a good thing, then it is only you who is going to be putting forth the effort. It is sad to say but if it isn't both of you wanting it and working towards it, it may be a frusterating endeavor. This mean that you should try, but only if both must want it.
#6. It will be hard work no matter what. What is going to help is making sure that you have a good support system. Have friends and family who encourage you and helpe you. Your chances of getting back together after a break up will grow as you continue .
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