If someone were to ask you, what are the question that you want to ask but are afraid to ask about your marriage? If the questions are "how to get my husband to love me again?" Then you need to read this . I have been through a tough period in my marriage when my husband told me flat out that he did not love me anymore. I thought he was joking, until I saw his packed suitcase in his hand. I realized I had to convince him to stay. I knew that the relationship took a back seat for sometime now, with daily pressure of life and day to day running around paying the bills. The intimacy was missing and the closeness in the relationship was not there. I had to take another look at what I was doing or not doing to salvage my marriage.
First, Look At What you are doing in your marriage. How have you changed, compared to the time when you first got married? When affection starts to wane and distance starts to appear, woman tend to react in one of two ways. The first is,they may try to overcompensate for the coolness and detachment in the marriage by being too clingy. Men often see this as high maintenance. And from what I have seen, man have a hard time dealing with this. If you hover or become over bearing, or shower your husband with affection or gestures that just come off as being insincere, it might just back fire. Here is what you need to understand about man. All men want to feel appreciated, admired and loved, but they also want a confident wife who is on equal footing. Your husband can not respect you if you try to make him love you through insincere or desperate behavior.
The other thing that wives often do when they feel their husband's no longer love them is they pull away themselves. They shut down. They pull back. Either knowing or unknowingly, they are thinking "Well, two can play this game. If you're going to act this way, then I'm not going out of my way." No one likes to leave themselves vulnerable to rejection and not feeling loved back but, there's a problem. In order to have the close, intimate, and strong marriage that you want, you absolutely have to let down the walls you think are protecting you. True intimacy can not happen if either person has not allowed themselves to be a full and willing participant in the relationship.
Show Him How to "Love You Again." Think for a second about what you really want from your husband. If you want him to show you more affection, ask yourself how much GENUINE affection are you showing him? If you want more appreciation, then show and encourage by telling him why you are grateful for him. Now, many people will say "Well, that's not right. I'm doing all the work and he's getting all of the reward." The ask yourself this. If you are not going to start having the relationship that you deserve, who will. It either you or someone else. It your choice.
Understand that in time, you are going to get back exactly what you are giving. By your actions, you are teaching your husband how to treat you. And, as you promote positive feelings his way, he's going to be a lot nicer to live with and this is only going to make the relationship more sweet.
Take An Honest Look At Where Both of You are in your Marriage. If you had to describe your marriage in a couple of words, how would you describe it? Be honest. Because if you're really wanting to know "how to get my husband to love me again," then it would be reasonable for me to say that "loving," or "affectionate" are not going to be how you would characteristic your marriage right now. More than likely, you would honestly describe your marriage as "cold," "distant," or "detached."
But, what about when you two first met? How would you have described it then? Likely, "fun," "loving," "affectionate,". And, at that time, did you feel loved by your husband? I'll bet you did. So, your goal then, has to be to get back to a point where you had a fun,loving and affectionate relationship.
This may mean that you need to bring back some of the qualities that your husband first fell in love with. I'd bet that the woman with whom he had fun and felt love toward is still right in front him. But,how happy is he today? And, how happy was he then? Isn't it worth it then, to make the effort to work together, and bring the loving feelings in your marriage back? Your husband was once very much in love with you, and he can be again. But first, there is a bit of work to do.
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